practice makes purrfect

my heart is beating and it is the silent equivalent of when my pretty kitty (Beatrice) purrs next to me. Today I tried- alone for the very first time to meditate. I have gone to countless yoga classes and have participated in the last 10 minutes of kind of guided meditation, but only once did I really let go. Maybe I needed to attempt this alone. Maybe I am just a distracted person..don't know. But I set myself down on my bed put on a little sleepy time eye mask (because I know how much I love to break rules :P) and started to breathe.

I don't know how long I did this. And I don't really care. Next time I will set a timer. But for this first time, I wanted no judgement or expectation from myself or the process. I was reading in Ask & it Is Given and i learned that meditation is important because it is the one time where we allow ourselves to be truly open and willing to experience 'relief from resistance". It felt so good. I would lose my 'non focus' so to speak but would continue to breathe in and out. sometimes counting to get my racing thoughts to cease. During the experiment my kitten came over to me ran up and down my body. sat on my chest, sat on my belly, sat inbetween my legs and i think she cleaned herself but i didn't stop to look. yes, it was distracting but i tried to continue. it felt good though, that this little creature was drawn to me in this calm silent non-sleeping state. towards the end of her fascination with me she jumped up my body to my face and just sat on my chest and sniffed my breathing. haha. I was thinking that i wished she would just fall asleep on me and purr- but then i realized i was thinking and got back to my breath. Then she leapt of the bed and scurried out to the other room. next time i will shut the door. I closed my meditation with 3 om's and again she came in and stared at me.

When i finished i felt so good. and i will continue this feeling for the rest of the day. I can't wait to try again tomorrow...or maybe even tonight.